Advices From A Distant Aunt

January 26th, 2008 · No Comments

I recently chatted with my distant aunt, Lauri Young, whom I met four years ago when she visited us in Lasang, Davao City, along with my newly-knowned lolas (or grandmothers). My aunt is now a CEO of Getchee, a GIS-related company based on Taiwan serving big clients such as Starbucks, HSBC, L’Oreal, among others. She grew up in Seattle, Washington, USA. Her late mother is a Filipino native and her late father is from Montreal, a Canadian but became a naturalized American citizen.

She gave me nice advices upon hearing that I want to work for Western people, my personal ambitions to live and get a life abroad:

I can speak on Americans when it comes to ‘utang na loob’ or debt of the mind. Overall I don’t think Americans understand not respect the concept.

‘Utang na loob’ has a lot of depth from my point of view. it is something that North Americans (Americans & Canadians) may take for granted. Meaning, that they do not fully understand nor appreciate any hardship that you may be going through in order to respect your obligation.

Sooooo… my suggestion to you is: Do not put a lot of faith in your morals or beliefs when dealing with foreigners - because they will not respect OR understand where you are coming from. Basically, you might break your back to help them - and they will not even notice. - SO DON’T BREAK YOUR BACK!!!

Respect is a concept that is revered in Asia and shunned in Western Countries.

Such as the concept of ‘face.’ North Americans do not get it. really.

I have experienced it first hand.

face as in ‘loss of face’ = respect to ones frame of mind

So, try and have a strong back when you are dealing with foreigners, because they will not see your nobleness as special or sincere - they will just see it as simple

well i think that for Filipinos - it is hard to understand north American ways of doing business because they are more than willing to embarrass you (face) - so it is uncomfortable if you are not used to it.

It is true that money $$$ is important. you should never assume that people just ‘like you.’ Be an economist - always consider how you economically help them - that is why they like you.

Everything can be related to economics.

Well don’t be stressed out - just always look at the world with your ‘eyes wide open’ so that you are never so naive.

The Filipino heart is so sweet and gentle - however the world is rough - so always be awake, ok?

My Personal Standpoint

I appreciate the advices given to me by my Aunt. I knew that her kind words carry an air of truthfulness since she lived and grew up exactly in the culture she described and referred. I strongly believe, though I might be wrong estimating the gap between cultures, that there are always bad eggs anywhere, everywhere I go. I would fall in love to a person who will dare to prove my Aunt’s opinions wrong, despite its obvious reality. And to that person, I am willing to break my back but I won’t kill myself.